When we were little, around 4 or so, it was all about who had the biggest box of crayons, and whether or not it had the sharpener with it. Then we grew up a little and things soon progressed to who had the coolest toys. Elementary school came, and we suddenly needed to have the most friends (many people still think this is the most important thing). Then it was a contest between having the best boy/girlfriend. When you think about it... It's all a little ridiculous, but yet, I want to relive it.
When we were little, we just wanted to get older so people would stop treating us like the kids we were. We wanted to get to Junior High where you could wear whatever shoes you want. Never once did we stop to look at what we were leaving behind. That's honestly one of my biggest regrets... (So far. I'm not being all dramatic.. Or at least I'm not trying to be. I just wish things were simple once again.) Anyway, I want to go back to when all that mattered was who had the biggest crayon box. I want things to S T O P changing. But, I guess I finally got what I wanted. We all did.
When you think about it, it's ridiculous. A lot of kids, me included when I was little, just want to get older so they can have privileges or privacy. Then when you're older, you just want to go back to when there were no limits on what your imagination could create. It didn't matter that it was 10 in the morning, because that just meant you had a full day ahead of you. A day to do whatever you wanted. Not a deadline, or homework assignment, or work.
As I went on a walk today with one of my sisters, somehow we got on the topic of days you would relive if you could. There are T O N S of days that I could choose, whether it would be walking through endless fields with a friend, a camping trip with my family, , watching Scooby Doo with your friend at their grandparent's farm on a stormy day, or even just family game nights. I wish that back then I had told myself to slow down, and actually enjoy the simplicity of life. But, even if I had told myself that, I probably wouldn't have listened.
Thinking back on these memories makes me sad. Sad for the friends I lost, the moments I never actually appreciated, and the things I would change if I could. Meanwhile, I wouldn't change a thing. ( I know that sounds ridiculous. Yeah, I miss some friends, but losing them is what made me ME.) I wish I could change things, but at the same time, if I did, my whole life could be different. Who knows.
So. To all the people who hurt me, laughed with me, loved me, and put up with me when I was a pain in the butt. Thank you. You helped make me who I am today, even if some of it hurt. I may be looking towards the past, but I heading towards the future.
When we were little, we just wanted to get older so people would stop treating us like the kids we were. We wanted to get to Junior High where you could wear whatever shoes you want. Never once did we stop to look at what we were leaving behind. That's honestly one of my biggest regrets... (So far. I'm not being all dramatic.. Or at least I'm not trying to be. I just wish things were simple once again.) Anyway, I want to go back to when all that mattered was who had the biggest crayon box. I want things to S T O P changing. But, I guess I finally got what I wanted. We all did.
When you think about it, it's ridiculous. A lot of kids, me included when I was little, just want to get older so they can have privileges or privacy. Then when you're older, you just want to go back to when there were no limits on what your imagination could create. It didn't matter that it was 10 in the morning, because that just meant you had a full day ahead of you. A day to do whatever you wanted. Not a deadline, or homework assignment, or work.
As I went on a walk today with one of my sisters, somehow we got on the topic of days you would relive if you could. There are T O N S of days that I could choose, whether it would be walking through endless fields with a friend, a camping trip with my family, , watching Scooby Doo with your friend at their grandparent's farm on a stormy day, or even just family game nights. I wish that back then I had told myself to slow down, and actually enjoy the simplicity of life. But, even if I had told myself that, I probably wouldn't have listened.
Thinking back on these memories makes me sad. Sad for the friends I lost, the moments I never actually appreciated, and the things I would change if I could. Meanwhile, I wouldn't change a thing. ( I know that sounds ridiculous. Yeah, I miss some friends, but losing them is what made me ME.) I wish I could change things, but at the same time, if I did, my whole life could be different. Who knows.
So. To all the people who hurt me, laughed with me, loved me, and put up with me when I was a pain in the butt. Thank you. You helped make me who I am today, even if some of it hurt. I may be looking towards the past, but I heading towards the future.
"I don't want my pain erased. As wretched as it is,
I need my pain. It makes me who I am. It makes me Grumpy."
- Grumpy, from 'Once Upon a Time'
I agree. Everything you go through makes you who you are, and it's better to live a truthful life with mistakes than fake it and be perfect. Reminds me of when I say something extremely stupid and immediately take it back, then realise it's ok to be a little ditzy. Be yourself! :D
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