For some people, music is a lifestyle. To others it’s just an object, or maybe even a reason to live. We often find ourselves listening to certain music that unknowingly reflects life events, or our emotions. Music is an output, perhaps a silent scream of pain frustration, or even happiness. Music represents ourselves, our friends, family, or even life events. To me, music is an output, it’s a way of expressing my feelings when I feel I can’t tell others, or just don’t want to. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have a way to express myself through music. I’ve always been a very quiet person when it comes to my emotions, and I generally shy away from conflict. Music has always been my expressive output. Growing up with six sisters has been different, and my voice wasn’t always heard. You may think that some of my song choices are strange, or different, but this is me. Happy ‘listening’!
“Family Portrait” by Pink: My parents divorced when I was about 4 years old, and all throughout the early years of my childhood, I was kind of in the middle of everything. It was tough, especially in the last few years before my dad moved. We used to go to my dad’s house every other weekend, and it was fun, but the arguing between my parents was tough. When my dad moved to Oregon, I was really upset. I used to listen to this song all the time, when I was upset. It talks about how this kid just wants their family together again. It talks about how the kid’s parents are always fighting, and how they just want it all to stop. “You fight about money, 'bout me and my brother/ And this I come home to, this is my shelter/ It ain't easy growing up in World War III / Never knowing what love could be, you'll see/ I don't want love to destroy me like it has done my family/ Can we work it out? Can we be a family? /I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything/ Can we work it out? Can we be a family? / I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave.” It doesn’t quite explain the same situation, but it’s very similar.
“Once Upon A December” by Aayliah: When I was little, my sisters and I loved to sings; especially the songs from Disney movies. One of my favorite movies was Anastasia. We used to always run around the house singing different parts of Anastasia over and over again. It’s just one of those songs that I listened to for my entire childhood. Every time I hear it, I just think about my childhood, and laughing and goofing off with my sisters. It’s a reminder of good memories.
“The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World: When I was born, I had some heart problems. All my life, I’ve had regular cardiology checkups, and at one of my appointments around the end of 2005, beginning of 2006, we found out that the problem needed surgery. Before my surgery, I was really tired and out of energy all the time. On days that my sisters would be outside playing, I would be inside sleeping on the couch. The idea of having to have surgery made me really nervous, but my mom was always right there to reassure me that it would all be okay. I was really scared to have surgery, but it went well, and 6 hours after my surgery I went home. My surgery was on the 2nd of February 2006, and two weeks later I was back at school feeling better than ever. This song is just kind of my feel good song whenever I’m upset or worried about something. The lyrics are upbeat, happy and they sort of encourage you to keep going. “Hey, don't write yourself off yet/ It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on/ Just do your best, do everything you can/ And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say/ It just takes some time/ Little girl you're in the middle of the ride/ Everything, everything will be just fine/ Everything, everything will be alright, alright”
“100 Years” by Five for Fighting: Leaving elementary school was a strange new thing for me, as silly as that sounds. My sisters were always telling me how much I was going to love junior high and how different it was from elementary. I was really nervous about making new friends. The song is about this guy who’s looking back on their life. Now obviously I haven’t lived that long of a life, but this still makes me think of elementary.
“I Miss You” by Blink 182: I put this song down for two events in my life. In the beginning of 7th grade, right before school started, my great-grandma passed away. I didn’t know her very well, and we didn’t visit very often. In the few months before she passed, we had been visiting her more, and getting to know her better, the same with my great-grandpa too. A while after she passed away, my great-grandpa did too. I hadn’t known him very well either, but I respected him.
“Ordinary Day” by Vanessa Carlton: This one is pretty simple, it’s kind of for when I get used to junior high. I used to think that elementary school was the only type of schooling there would be. I had my own definition of what an ordinary day was. This doesn’t only have to be for school though, every day I have my routines, and they never seem to change.
“I Hate Everything About You” by Three Days Grace: Starting in the 7th grade, one of my friends began to get mad at me a lot, and they stopped talking to me for long periods of time. They began to tell me that I annoyed them a lot, and to leave them alone. I didn’t know what had happened, but I left them alone. They had lied to me, and made me completely unable to trust them. I even lost the trust in other people, even though it was irrational. I was upset and mad for a long time. Now, I’m passed it, but at the time, it was a big betrayal. I never understood why we stopped talking before things got bad, but things happen.
“Mr. Brightside” by The Killers: 8th grade was a lot better for me. In beginning of 8th grade, and the end of the 7th grade I was really shy, and I didn’t like meeting new people. I stepped out of my comfort zone though and I met a lot of new people. The first lyrics in the song are, “I’m coming out of my cage/ and I’ve been doing just fine.” I definitely came out of my shell in 8th grade, and even more this year. This song has just always been one of my favorites.
“We Are Young” by Fun. : This goes along with the previous one, in a way. I met a lot of new people in 8th grade, some of who are my best friends now. I was stepping out of my comfort zone and meeting a lot of new people. As time went on, we begun to hang out a lot more, and we became really good friends.
“Free To Be Me” by Francesca Battistelli: This doesn’t really fit in my life yet, because it’s for the future. This song just represents the future like high school, and college. In the past I’ve let people get to me really easily, now, and in the future, I’m not going to let people tear me down and push me around like that. This song is just really inspirational to me. “When I was just a girl/ I thought I had it figured out/ See my life would turn out right/ And I'd make it here somehow/ But things don't always come that easy/ And sometimes I would doubt, oh/ 'Cause I got a couple dents in my Fender/ Got a couple rips in my jeans/ Try to fit the pieces together/ But perfection is my enemy.”
This was a really interesting reflection on why I listen to songs, and what my meaning is, even though I don’t always know it. It was really fascinating to look and see what songs I unconsciously pair with life events. These songs represent my emotions when I’m happy, sad, anything really. If you’re actually reading this right now, thanks for taking the time to go all the way through this. I hope you enjoyed ‘listening’.
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