My Own Life Soundtrack

            For some people, music is a lifestyle. To others it’s just an object, or maybe even a reason to live. We often find ourselves listening to certain music that unknowingly reflects life events, or our emotions. Music is an output, perhaps a silent scream of pain frustration, or even happiness. Music represents ourselves, our friends, family, or even life events. To me, music is an output, it’s a way of expressing my feelings when I feel I can’t tell others, or just don’t want to. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have a way to express myself through music. I’ve always been a very quiet person when it comes to my emotions, and I generally shy away from conflict. Music has always been my expressive output. Growing up with six sisters has been different, and my voice wasn’t always heard. You may think that some of my song choices are strange, or different, but this is me. Happy ‘listening’!

“Family Portrait” by Pink: My parents divorced when I was about 4 years old, and all throughout the early years of my childhood, I was kind of in the middle of everything. It was tough, especially in the last few years before my dad moved. We used to go to my dad’s house every other weekend, and it was fun, but the arguing between my parents was tough. When my dad moved to Oregon, I was really upset. I used to listen to this song all the time, when I was upset. It talks about how this kid just wants their family together again. It talks about how the kid’s parents are always fighting, and how they just want it all to stop. “You fight about money, 'bout me and my brother/ And this I come home to, this is my shelter/ It ain't easy growing up in World War III / Never knowing what love could be, you'll see/ I don't want love to destroy me like it has done my family/ Can we work it out? Can we be a family? /I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything/ Can we work it out? Can we be a family? / I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave.” It doesn’t quite explain the same situation, but it’s very similar.

“Once Upon A December” by Aayliah: When I was little, my sisters and I loved to sings; especially the songs from Disney movies. One of my favorite movies was Anastasia. We used to always run around the house singing different parts of Anastasia over and over again. It’s just one of those songs that I listened to for my entire childhood. Every time I hear it, I just think about my childhood, and laughing and goofing off with my sisters. It’s a reminder of good memories.

“The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World: When I was born, I had some heart problems. All my life, I’ve had regular cardiology checkups, and at one of my appointments around the end of 2005, beginning of 2006, we found out that the problem needed surgery. Before my surgery, I was really tired and out of energy all the time. On days that my sisters would be outside playing, I would be inside sleeping on the couch. The idea of having to have surgery made me really nervous, but my mom was always right there to reassure me that it would all be okay. I was really scared to have surgery, but it went well, and 6 hours after my surgery I went home. My surgery was on the 2^nd of February 2006, and two weeks later I was back at school feeling better than ever. This song is just kind of my feel good song whenever I’m upset or worried about something. The lyrics are upbeat, happy and they sort of encourage you to keep going. “Hey, don't write yourself off yet/ It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on/ Just do your best, do everything you can/ And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say/ It just takes some time/ Little girl you're in the middle of the ride/ Everything, everything will be just fine/ Everything, everything will be alright, alright”

“100 Years” by Five for Fighting: Leaving elementary school was a strange new thing for me, as silly as that sounds. My sisters were always telling me how much I was going to love junior high and how different it was from elementary. I was really nervous about making new friends. The song is about this guy who’s looking back on their life. Now obviously I haven’t lived that long of a life, but this still makes me think of elementary.

“I Miss You” by Blink 182: I put this song down for two events in my life. In the beginning of 7^th grade, right before school started, my great-grandma passed away. I didn’t know her very well, and we didn’t visit very often. In the few months before she passed, we had been visiting her more, and getting to know her better, the same with my great-grandpa too. A while after she passed away, my great-grandpa did too. I hadn’t known him very well either, but I respected him.

“Ordinary Day” by Vanessa Carlton: This one is pretty simple, it’s kind of for when I get used to junior high. I used to think that elementary school was the only type of schooling there would be. I had my own definition of what an ordinary day was. This doesn’t only have to be for school though, every day I have my routines, and they never seem to change.

“I Hate Everything About You” by Three Days Grace: Starting in the 7^th grade, one of my friends began to get mad at me a lot, and they stopped talking to me for long periods of time. They began to tell me that I annoyed them a lot, and to leave them alone. I didn’t know what had happened, but I left them alone. They had lied to me, and made me completely unable to trust them. I even lost the trust in other people, even though it was irrational. I was upset and mad for a long time. Now, I’m passed it, but at the time, it was a big betrayal. I never understood why we stopped talking before things got bad, but things happen.

“Mr. Brightside” by The Killers: 8^th grade was a lot better for me. In beginning of 8^th grade, and the end of the 7^th grade I was really shy, and I didn’t like meeting new people. I stepped out of my comfort zone though and I met a lot of new people. The first lyrics in the song are, “I’m coming out of my cage/ and I’ve been doing just fine.” I definitely came out of my shell in 8^th grade, and even more this year. This song has just always been one of my favorites.

“We Are Young” by Fun. : This goes along with the previous one, in a way. I met a lot of new people in 8^th grade, some of who are my best friends now. I was stepping out of my comfort zone and meeting a lot of new people. As time went on, we begun to hang out a lot more, and we became really good friends. 

“Free To Be Me” by Francesca Battistelli: This doesn’t really fit in my life yet, because it’s for the future. This song just represents the future like high school, and college. In the past I’ve let people get to me really easily, now, and in the future, I’m not going to let people tear me down and push me around like that. This song is just really inspirational to me. “When I was just a girl/ I thought I had it figured out/ See my life would turn out right/ And I'd make it here somehow/ But things don't always come that easy/ And sometimes I would doubt, oh/ 'Cause I got a couple dents in my Fender/ Got a couple rips in my jeans/ Try to fit the pieces together/ But perfection is my enemy.”

This was a really interesting reflection on why I listen to songs, and what my meaning is, even though I don’t always know it. It was really fascinating to look and see what songs I unconsciously pair with life events. These songs represent my emotions when I’m happy, sad, anything really. If you’re actually reading this right now, thanks for taking the time to go all the way through this. I hope you enjoyed ‘listening’.

Style Analysis: Ray Bradbury

After you read a book you’ll often find yourself looking for more titles by the same author, and you may notice that even though they have completely different plots they still sound generally the same. Two of Ray Bradbury’s books, Something Wicked This Way Comes and Fahrenheit 451, sound similar because of the stylistic patterns. Bradbury has a very unique style of writing; many of his books, even in the joyful parts, still have a very sadistic undertone. Because of the uniqueness of his writing, it can make it challenging at times to analyze his style.

Bradbury’s diction is often vengeful. “Well that’s one way to get an audience. Hold a gun on a man and force him to listen to your speech. Speech away. What’ll it be this time? Why don’t you belch Shakespeare at me, you fumbling snob? ‘There is no terror, Cassius, in your threats, for I am arm’d so strong in honesty that they pass me as an idle wind, which I respect not!’ How’s that? Go ahead, now, you second-hand litterateur, pull the trigger (Page 119).” Two men, who once considered each other good friends, are now battling a war with each other. They once worked side by side, and as soon as one of them became as knowledgeable as the other about books and such, the other is threatened. With his newly acquired knowledge, Guy Montag is fighting his former friend, Beatty, for past threats, mockeries, and embarrassments. Bradbury’s choice of words, and the way he strings them together, makes for an impressive dialogue between angry characters. “‘You can’t hurt me!’ the boy shrieked. ‘Funny,’ said Charles Halloway. ‘I think I can.’ He pressed the boy, almost lovingly, close, very close. ‘Murder!’ wailed the boy. ‘Murder.’ ‘I’m not going to murder you, Jed, Mr. Dark, whoever, whatever you are. You’re going to murder yourself because you can’t stand being near people like me, not this close, close, not this long (Page 203).’” While Charles Halloway and Mr. Dark were never friends, or even acquaintances, the both were searching for the opportunity to take the other’s life. Both of these quotes show Bradbury’s unique word choice, which gives his writing an underlying tone of curiosity, but also vengeance.

The tone in Bradbury’s writing is very curious. “‘But most of all,’ she said, ‘I like to watch people. Sometimes I ride the subway all day and look at them and listen to them. I just want to figure out who they are and what they want and where they’re going (Page 30).” In Fahrenheit 451, Clarisse is just one of the many curious characters. She always wants to know why something works, or how something works. She is never just satisfied with the simple fact that it does, or does not work. She wants to diagnose it, whether it has a problem or not. Montag may not be quite as curious as Clarisse, but his curiosity was what got him in his trouble. He wanted to know about books in a world where reading them was a crime, and he had to pay the price. “‘For cri-yi, I’m froze, let’s go watch them set up!’ ‘At three A.M.?’ ‘At three A.M.!’ Jim vanished… Jim slid down the drainpipe on his house, toward the sleeping lawns. ‘Jim! Wait!’ Will thrashed into his clothes. ‘Jim don’t go alone!’ And followed after (Page 34-35).” Both Jim and Will were curious about the carnival arriving in town at three in the morning. They wanted to know why there were there, and how they set up, so they went down to take a look and watch the carnival rise from the ground. Little did they know how treacherous such a tiny decision could be. Their single decision to watch the carnival set up will endanger their lives, but they go anyway, oblivious to the danger looming ahead. Neither Jim and Will, nor Montag could control their curiosity, they just couldn’t help it.

Bradbury creates a mysterious mood by adding in little quarks here and there that are never fully explained. He likes to leave some of the thinking, the imagination of the image, up to the readers. “The mechanical hound slept but did not sleep, lived but did not live in its gently humming, gently vibrating, softly illuminated kennel back in a dark corner of the firehouse (Page 24).” These words, lead the reader to wonder how something mechanical can be living, at all in the first place, and then not living at all. How can it sleep but not sleep? It seems impossible, but it is a story, it is simply writing, so is anything ever actually impossible? You just can’t help but wonder. “The Illustrated Man thrust out his hands. Will’s father lurched. Tattooed in bright blue ink, Will’s face gazed up at him from the palm of the right hand. Ink-sewn to the left palm, Jim’s face was indelible and natural as life. ‘You know them?’ The Illustrated Man saw Mr. Halloway’s throat clench, his eyelids squinch, his bones struck vibrant as from a sledge-hammer blow. ‘Their names (Page 127-128)?’” Readers see a mystery. How can the Illustrated man have tattoos of Will and Jim on his palms, especially ones that look so lifelike? How did they get there? What does the Illustrated Man want to do to Jim and Will? So many questions, only creating a mystery, that doesn’t necessarily have to be solved. Both books are filled with unresolvable questions, or at least ones that don’t need to be answered, and thus creating a mystery.

Ray Bradbury has a very distinctive writing style that you don’t often see in other others. Bradbury knew the perfect combination of comedy, tragedy, mystery, and sci-fi to create fascinating, gripping stories. It may be hard for some people to recognize some of the aspects of Bradbury’s writing because of the advance style he has. Any piece of writing you read from Bradbury will seem similar to his other works because of tone, mood, and diction. The plots may change from book to book, but the author still uses the same writing techniques in all their work.

Grades, and End of Level Tests

I was asked an interesting question this week, and I'd thought I would share my response. The question basically was: "Do you think end of level tests motivate students to learn? Do you think that grades truly show what a student learned? What is the best way to measure what students learn?"
My response:

I think that end of level tests just frustrate students. I don't know anyone who looks forward to the end of levels, or anyone who really studies for them. Most people, don't study for english and science because they're usually pretty straight forward and easy, they're logical. As for math, my friends and I don't really study for it because it's mostly formulas and such. I don't really know how to study for something like that. End of levels are just basically the mandatory tests at the end of the year that every one dreads. On top of that, they're at the end of the year, when everyone is tired of school, fried, and just mentally exhausted. I'm at that point right now, and it feels like I'm in the middle of a storm I'm not motivated to study, or to do my homework. The only reason I do my homework is for the grades, as for the studying, I find that I can usually get pretty good grades without it. I just find myself procrastinating on assignments more and more, leaving less and less time to get them done. I don't want to do the work anymore because I'm so tired and exhausted. I'm just mentally fried and I feel like school is never going to end. I'm burning out I guess, ha.
I think grades are a very trivial thing. For some students, It shows what they've learned, for others, it shows their test scores, or that they do their assignments, or simply their motivation. It really depends on the class, the scores in the computers, how the class is taught, and how many assignments there are. Grades really depend on the students, and the teachers. If a teacher likes to put a lot of assignments in, then missing one or two doesn't really matter, and your grade will probably mostly rely on tests and quizzes. However, some teachers like to put 3 or 4 assignments in the whole year with one or two quizzes/tests so your grade really depends on the teacher and how they like to do things, and your own self motivation. One of the classes that bugs me the most is gym. I don't think it's fair to get graded on how fast you run, or how athletic you are. A lot of gym grades is participation, and sometimes, there are a lot of things affecting that. I, for example, haven't been running lately in gym as much because I have shin splints. It really sucks that I get graded on stuff like that when I'm injured.
I think that there is definitely a better way of evaluating what students learn in a year. They could write an essay showing what they learned, or do worksheets, for math as an example, that isn't multiple choice that covers the whole year and they have to show there work. I think that there are a lot of different ways that they could do this, they just don't.

Just 14 days of school left, and 19 days until school is out. I. Can't. Wait! :D

Insurgent by Veronica Roth

* Note: if you haven't read Divergent yet, or are in the process of reading it, don't read this review. DON'T READ IT.

Imagine a world where the community you live in was based on characteristics and values. In this futuristic version of Chicago, turning 16 has an entirely different meaning. When Tris Prior turns 16 and chooses her faction, many are shocked at her choice. Starting in the selfless faction of Abnegation, and switching to Dauntless has only been heard of one other time. Months later, on the day of the Dauntless initiation ceremony, Tris should be celebrating, but instead, war between the factions has broke out, and she's fighting for her and many others' lives. Erudite leader, Jeanine Matthews lead an attack against the Abnegation, and now all the factions are at war, picking sides. When the truth is told, and secrets are revealed, Tris may lose everything she's fought for. In the looming war, choices will become more irrevocable and more powerful, sides will be chosen, and above all, the truth will be heard.
When I first read the first book of this trilogy, I couldn't read it fast enough. I was completely enveloped in the story, and I was not disappointed to have the same experience with Insurgent. I'm always worried when sequels come out because it's usually a hit or miss with them. Insurgent however, hit the bulls-eye. I completely loved all the different twists and turns the book took, and I was not disappointed with the story at all.
The main characters are very dynamic, and fascinating. Tris, a strong-headed, brave, selfless transfer from Abnegation into Dauntless has to fight for everything she knows and loves, all because of one word: Divergent. Tobias, also known as Four, is a nearly fearless, brave, caring, and one of Tris's weak spots. The cause of the war? None other than Jeanine Matthews, a heartless Erudite representative who starts a war among the factions by turning people into mindless soldiers against their will.
One of my favorite quotes from the book is, "We both have war inside us. Sometimes it keeps us alive. Sometimes it threatens to destroy us." I like this quote because I think it represents the book really well, and also has a really strong meaningful meaning. My other favorite quote from the books is, " No matter how long you train someone to be brave, you never know if they are or not until something real happens." This is my other favorite quote because it's true. Even though you train something into someone, it may not work, and the only way to find out is for something drastically real to happen, like a war in this book.
Overall, I loved Divergent, and I loved Insurgent even more. I would obviously only recommend this to people who have read the first book, but overall as a trilogy, I would recommend it to people who liked Hunger Games, and really anyone in general. I could not have loved the book, and it's ending more. You never knew what to expect, there was always something new and shocking waiting on each page. This book was amazing, and I couldn't be happier with it. I can't wait for the third book to come out!

The Wind Through the Keyhole, and A Few Other Things....

In sixth grade, I was at loss one day when I had just finished my current book and I had no idea what to read next. As I couldn't think of anything seeing as how I had read just about every book my sisters had, I went to my mom. When I asked her, she thought about it, (I honestly think she might have just briefly forgotten) and then told me to go downstairs to the bookshelf and find a book by Stephen King called The Gunslinger. I thought it sounded kind of weird, and I had only ever read one or two books by Stephen King, but what I had read was good, so I decided to go along with it.
Now, if you had seen my mom's bookshelf, you would understand why I returned to her about 10 minutes later explaining that I couldn't find it. She patiently followed me downstairs and we looked and looked through the unorganized shelves until finally we found it. My first impression was that it looked really old, and that I didn't want to read it, but I figured I'd give it a try.
In the course of a year, maybe a little more, I read all seven of the Dark Tower Books, getting more and more into (not the word I was looking for, but it will work) the story. I started somewhere in the middle of 6th grade, and finished around Christmas break in 7th grade. Oh, and don't worry, there aren't going to be any spoilers on here in the pure chance that there is a newcomer to the Dark Tower books actually reading this, but it's really unlikely.
Anyway, if you are a Stephen King fan, you know that he recently, as in last week, released his new book, The Wind Through the Keyhole. I haven't read the whole thing, but I'm about 60 pages in, and I love the story. It's a Dark Tower related book, and tells yet another story from the gunslinger Roland of Gilead, and a story inside of his.
The first seven Dark Tower Books captivated me, and now that Stephen King has written another one, Dark Tower 4.5 as he likes to call it, I feel like I get to visit another part of my favorite story.Whenever I read a new book, I feel like I'm actually in the story, like I get to go on the characters' adventures with them. However, the story of Roland and his Ka-tet isn't a new one, I just get to hear a new part. :)
So basically, this long rant has been to say that I'm really excited to have something of my choosing to read, and that it's part of one of my favorite series from one of my favorite authors. In addition to his new book, I have also started reading The Stand (also by him), and I have three other books to read (one of which is for school). I LOVE having books to read, and even though it makes me feel like I have stuff to do, which stresses me out, I know that I will have reading material for QUITE a while, and that is one of my favorite things. So, if you're reading this, what is your favorite book? Your favorite author? ... I always love to hear what different people love to read, especially when their answers surprise me. :)

A Little Bit of This and That....

Well, let's just say that it's been a very interesting weekend. I know that I'm basically saying in every post that I really can't wait for school to be out, but It's true. This weekend, I got to go driving again, and lets just say that it wasn't even nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Especially compared to the first time I drove. This time, I drove to my grandmas house and I didn't mix up the gas and the break this time, luckily.
One of my favorite things to do, is read. Recently I've been having to read a lot of different things for school, but I'm finally finding a little bit of time to read what I want, and I couldn't be happier. For world book day, my mom was chosen to receive 20 copies of a book from the list. Of the books of choice, she was given her first choice, The Stand by Stephen King. Stephen King's books have always amazed me and fascinated me and now I have another one and I'm just so excited to read it. I can't wait for a new story to fall into.
I know it's sad, but once this year is over ( school year that is) I probably won't write on here very much. I know I keep saying how excited I am for this school year to be over, but I'm also really, really bummed. After this year, we'll all branch off and become either Lancers or Darts, and then well rivalry and separation will begin. I honestly love being a Falcon, and I wish that I could just go back a few months, and then just pause time. If I could do that, then I would never have to worry about losing friends, or being nervous about high school.
I know I always act like I've got it under control but honestly, I'm freaking out most of the time. I always act like I know what's going to happen because I've got 5 older sisters, 3 of which I live with so I tell people, "Oh yeah! High school will go like this... and then this." Well, you can't really say that because every group of people is different. I'm friends with completely different types of people than my sisters were, so I honestly have no idea how things will turn out. I just say what I hope will happen, "When I get my drivers license, and I can pick up other people, I'll come get you at 5 in the morning and we'll go to breakfast before school!" Yeah, now that I think about it, I know it's sad to say, but I doubt that will happen.We'll see though, I mean like I said, you never now what will happen with people.
I'm really nervous about this next year, and I don't quite know what to expect, but I' going to go into it with a positive attitude, and make the best of it.
On a completely different note, I found out the other day that something I wrote for Letters For Literature is going to the state level of the competition. I'm really excited because I've never had anything like this happen before, I guess we'll see how it goes. Anyway, it's getting late, and I gotta go to bed, so goodnight internet!

Looking Towards The Future

In the next few months, things in my life, my home, are going to change so much. I'll be driving, starting in the fall I'll be in high school, and one of my sisters might move out (I won't go into detail about that though, cause every time I think about it I end up crying). I know I've done posts before about high school, but everyday, it gets closer and closer, and I think about it more and more. Going into high school is going to be way fun, but way sad at the same time. I'm going to lose some friends who will be going to different schools, but I'm going to get the opportunity to meet new ones. Now I'm not religious, but I do believe that everything happens for a reason. So if you lose a friend, to me that means that your just opening a spot in your heart and your life for an even better one to come along. Everything has a purpose, if it didn't, then what would be the point of living? Anyway, it does make me sad to think that I'm going to be losing friends, but I am going to get the chance to meet and make even better ones. The ones I don't lose, even though we'll be split apart, will be the friends that I want to keep. The ones that I really don't want to lose. Losing friends has always been a kind of sensitive thing with me, which is why this "split" makes me nervous. I just have to tell myself that if we are really close enough, then we won't let the difference of schools get between us. I've watched it happen with all three of my sisters and their friends, it makes me sad to think of who I might lose.
Now, onto driving... Well that's an entirely different thing. My family and I are very outdoorsy so I've driven four-wheelers, a boat, wave runners, etc., but none of them is like driving a car. Now, I've only driven twice since I got my permit a few weeks ago, but it's pretty hard. I can never seem to figure out how far back the gas pedal is, so I think it's a lot further back than it really is so sometimes I've hit the gas a little bit harder than I've meant to. Considering that the two times I have driven it's been in two different cars might have something to do with it, but it still makes me nervous. You kind of have to have a quick reaction time, especially with all the crazy drivers out there who don't really care about how they might possibly be endangering the lives of others. Let's just say that my reaction time isn't as fast as it should be. I'm just hoping that I'll get enough practice in before I take the test sometime later in the summer. If all goes well, I won't have to walk to school in the winter, and I think it'd be worth it to save my fingers and toes. I don't mind walking outside when it's warm, or even slightly chilly, but give me snow or huge winds and you can forget about it. I've been there, and done that, and it is not at all fun.